The Shared Language of Pop Culture References

I was tickled to discover that the title of HAIM’s new album I quit was inspired by an iconic moment in the iconic movie That Thing You Do!¹

Wait, you don’t think of That Thing You Do! as iconic??!?! Hard disagree, how can we even be friends?!?

Anyway, you must know the moment when Jimmy steps up to the mic during the Oneders’ Wonders’ long-awaited recording session in L.A. and says…

Which is something I say all the time to those who get it, and I truly love that these talented, funny, and cool musicians get it too and have the same sense of humor.

As someone who marinates herself in pop culture-ese, I have pretty much always used quotes from the movies and shows I watch and the music I listen to as a shorthand to connect with people who might also speak my language.

To quote Rob Gordon in High Fidelity, one of my top five life touchstones (geddit??!): “What really matters is what you like, not what you are like. Books, records, films, these things matter —”

And while, yes, I do think that what you are like is incredibly important in this world, I’m still going to like you a little bit more if you get my pop culture references.

Before the internet, before gifs and memes, this was the way I and my friends (and, I assume, others of my generation) found our people and made jokes to each other in conversation. We would watch something a million times until the script became part of our DNA, and threw out those references again and again to make them ours.

And I am grateful that I can pop a gif into a text thread now and offer up a visual reference to my stupid little jokes.

But our cultural landscape has become so fractured and niched that it’s not as simple to connect with others with shared obsessions. I personally would not be able to quote anything from the Real Housewives franchise to you, and you may not understand that when I say you gotta “just dance the shit out of it!!” I’m talking about Center Stage.

OK, yes, that’s also because I came of age in the ‘80s and ‘90s, so my quotes are a little dated at this point. But I maintain that my cultural touchpoints are classics that span generations!

Recently, when someone didn’t get my “Pivot!” reference, I was truly a little baffled that a fellow Gen X-er would not have that Friends scene burned into their brain. (I mean, when I start typing “ross geller” into a search bar, the first autocomplete is “ross geller couch”!!)

I love that Taylor Swift used the phrase “but Daddy, I love him!” as a jumping-off point for a song on The Tortured Poets Department because it’s a Little Mermaid reference. (And Disney is totally here for this!)

I love that when my friend LM sees a Coke can with the name Francisco on it, he knows that the only appropriate response is “That’s fun to say!”

And I love this design because it’s both Cars AND Taylor Swift, so clearly this person knows me all too well.

I love when my pop culture favorites talk to me and to each other through shared references because it makes my world feel more connected.

So when I’m quoting something to you, it’s not just because I’m trying to be clever or witty. It’s also because I’m trying to bond us through mutual likes and memories. It’s a compliment and a signifier of how I value our connection, really.

And a compliment for us… is a compliment for you! (This person understands that line.)

1. A movie we refer to as “that great documentary” because of an offhand reference by Gillian Pensavalle on The Hamilcast, which makes it an inside quote about a movie quote… I guess? This is getting too meta but here we are. Anyway, if you want to hear the story from HAIM, here’s a clip — they talk about it from minutes 1:56-4:20.
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